I have been thinking about all the things I want to put out there to the world.... and IT'S A LOT. You see life hasn't always been easy. I have learned that some people may seem to have it easier than you, but that is all in perception. You never really know what a person is going through unless you ask, or know them below the surface. For me that is a struggle. I don't let people go beyond the surface often because I'm afraid of judgement, disappointment, exposure... the list could go on. Some of the things that I want to share with you guys on here are deep... embarrassing... but very much my life. Because if I'm honest I wish there was someone that could have related to me much of my life, someone who could have shown me that I could be victorious though the struggle. I feel like we are missing a lot of vulnerability these days and its not only hurting ourselves, but it is hurting others who are deep in the midst of struggle. So as I begin to share my heart and my life with you, I hope that you will accept me for who I am, show me grace, and rejoice with me.
Perseverance has been something that has been the foundation of my life. I haven't had many things "easy" but I know that I have been fortunate in comparison to many people. I believe the Lord allows us to go through certain things not only because we live in a fallen world with the ability to choose, but because He wants us to know Him and realize we can't do it with out Him. I suppose I will start at the beginning. It is my hope that through my struggle you will know me better and have HOPE.
I grew up in Lubbock, Texas with an older sister and two loving parents. I am fortunate enough to have two parents that have chosen love over and over again. They have shown me what sacrifice looks like, what provision looks like, and that love and a marriage take work. I was loved well as a child, even when i was unloveable. I was a stubborn, hard-headed little girl that wanted her way, and knew her way was the right way. I think some days I should still apologize for all that I put my parents through LOL. My parents worked hard to give my sister and I everything we wanted. I know now as an adult the sacrifice that had to have required. Competitive cheerleading and a private school are not necessities, but are things that have absolutely shaped my life. I am so thankful that my parents sacrificed for me... I just wish I would have told them that more growing up. Our lives were never perfect. My dad worked his business hard and had the calloused hands and smell of fertilizer to prove it. My mom poured into children's lives on a daily basis just to be "judged" on her performance, evaluated by state testing, and raked over the coals by parents who were otherwise absent in their children's lives. She has always loved her students well. Whether it was feeding those that came to school hungry, giving them our outgrown clothes, or helping them clean up because they hadn't showered in days. I saw Jesus in my mom so often in the way she loved them. You see I was blessed with a great family in our little town of Lubbock...but the struggles I faced in that little town have forever impacted my life. More on that next time...
thanks for loving me friends.
